Hints for Successful Bar/Bat Mitzvah

Planning a Bar Mitzvah (or Bat Mitzvah) doesn't have to be difficult if you take it step by step.

Here's a Proposed Time-Line to Plan a Successful Mitzvah Day:

2-3 Years Before the Event:
1. Contact a synagogue or temple when your child is less than ten years old. Learn about the process and timeframe required to prepare your child for the event. Formal Bar/Bat Mitzvah lessons usually begin one year prior to the scheduled date.

2. Decide on the style of the event- one that suits your lifestyle and budget

3. Contact potential service providers, caterers and entertainers. Word of mouth is usually the most reliable source for narrowing down your choices. Decide if you want to use a party planner who will coordinate all of the service providers for you.

One Year Before Event:
1. Book location, entertainment, photographer, videographer, and party
decorator (florist). All will require non- refundable deposits so make sure that you are certain about your choices and read through the entire contract.

2. Select a "theme" and/or color scheme for the event. Include your child in this aspect of the planning- keeping his or her preferences in mind. (Example: Horses Theme, Hockey Theme, Tropical Oasis)

3. Help your child decide on a community service or bar/bat mitzvah project idea. Many families find that the meaningfulness of the event is enhanced when a "tzedakah" project is established.

6 Months Before Event:
1. Develop a guest list with current addresses.

2. Select and order invitations. Order thank you notes, direction cards (if needed), napkins and guest towels at this time. Always order more invitations than you think you are going to need.

Reprints of small quantities can be costly.

3. Decide on centerpieces for tables and any other decorations. "Sign in boards" are a popular bar/bat mitzvah element and should be ordered at this time (usually through the florist/decorator).

4. Choose party favors for guests. These are usually theme and color related and are given to the younger guests at the celebration.

5. Arrange out-of-town guest accommodations . Many hotels offer special rates for large blocks of rooms; so inquire in your area.

6. Stay in close contact with your child's Bar/Bat Mitzvah mentor or tutor to keep abreast of your child's progress. Keep a calm encouraging attitude towards your child as he or she progresses through the course of study.

7. Think about your guest's needs. Decide if you will be offering other events throughout the weekend. Many families invite close friends and family to a Friday Evening Shabbat Dinner before the big event and a Sunday brunch.

Three months Before Event:
1. Finalize all party selections such as menu, centerpieces, and decorations.

2. Make appointments for hair stylists, barbers, and manicurists as needed.

3. Order personalized yarmulkes.

Two months before Event:
1. Mail invitations- number the back of the response cards to correspond to your guest list to ensure accuracy.
2. Create Candle-Lighting Ceremony. Work with your child to ensure that you are writing something that he or she feels comfortable reciting at the big event. If desired, select themed songs to go along with each candle's introduction.

3. Coordinate the entertainers and caterers to ensure that "time frames" match. Develop a time-line for the event that includes formalities, horas/dances and food services.

4. Encourage your child to practice his or her service out loud.

One month before Event:
1. Reconfirm all service providers

2. Develop a seating plan

3. Coordinate a rehearsal time with your temple. Many temples allow you to video this event in lieu of the actual service.

4. Arrange hospitality kits for out-of-town

guests. Include a schedule of events and detailed directions.

5. Coordinate out-of-town guest transportation to and from airports and events.

One week before Event:
1. Confirm final guest count with caterer.

Remember that once you have guaranteed a number, this is what you will be responsible to pay for even if fewer guests show up.

2. Adjust seating arrangements

3. Pack an "emergency kit" to keep phone numbers of each vendor handy, some fast food (i.e. granola bars) - and other supplies such as a sewing kit, extra makeup, hairbrushes, stockings etc.

About the Author:

Daryl Thomas is Professional Mobile Disc Jockey and Booking Agent for 1-800-DISC JOCKEY, LLC, North America's Largest Disc Jockey Booking Service with over 12,000 professional DJs represented.

As a professional radio personality, mobile disc jockey and club DJ himself, Mr. Thomas has successfully MC'd more than 1,925 events in the past 20 years.